Somewhere in our history and in our own personal histories, sleep has become the bad. For those of us with so many responsibilities during the day, sleep takes us away from the few hours that we have to do things that we enjoy doing. Sleeping deprives us of our nightly joy hours. To need to sleep is a weakness. To sleep is to waste time.
Sleep has even escalated to being a battle ground.
We’ve learned at one time or another, the feeling of dread of going to sleep.
Instead of sweet drunken somber, lying in bed for 8 hours feels like fighting in a war. You know that feeling and the look of of waking up embattled. Achy. Puffy. Fatty.
Oh my God, a) I feel like I’ve just fought a war, or b) I look like hell – as you face the crooked-eye monster in the mirror. The monster that you hope isn’t you has the evil eyes of bags, the skin tone of yellow plastic, and the overnight created wrinkles in places that seemed fine before. Who is this, oh my God. Quick. Lotions, potions, just take this nightmare away!
We’re taking about the night terrors. Insomnia vs. the grown ups, and almost always, the winner takes both time and confidence away.
In this Valley where I am currently in exile, I met someone who sleeps for 4 hours a day. Julius Caesar got only 4 hours, he says. Well, I think to myself, if he had slept more, he wouldn’t have lost it to Cleopatra. Thomas Edison introduced an unnatural rhythm for us to ignore the light cues. How I wish there was a mandatory time out at 8PM every night, where the entire world in the same time zone has to go to sleep. Can you imagine, how terrific citizens would feel in such a utopia?
There is an one-up-man ship of how little one needs to sleep. But honestly, when i meet someone now, at some point, I always ask them about how they sleep. No matter what they project to the world, I can always feel a deeper undercurrent whenever someone tells me that they have sleep problems.
I was talking to someone who was going on with 5 volumes of a list of ailments. She was duping me; I could tell by her duping delight expressed through dangling of the legs and flip flops feet beneath the table.
At some point, I stopped listening, and started typing on the computer. I said to her, in a half-tuned-in way, “Well. I wish you all the best. My hope is that you could get a whole night sleep like it’s only 9 minutes.”
I was looking at the computer while I was saying this, nonchalant.
Then I looked up.
I was shocked.
Silently, unexpectedly, without any warnings, she had started to cry silently w tears in her eyes.
Tears had welled up upon tears in her eyes, w her nose reddened, mouth shaking, skin ashen. She looked like a completely different person. For once, she had no words. But she felt it. The desperation of insomnia.
Every night, sleep has become a torture chamber for this person. I sympathize. I’ve been there, sometimes, when something keeps me up, it is a terrible feeling. Fortunately insomnia is situational for me, because I can get back to a regular sleepy pattern if nothing too exciting is going on, which I love.
I wish for everyone what I call the 9-minute sleep. Meaning, 8 hours of deep sleep that feels like only 9 minutes, where time passes without any prolonging, like you’ve died and you’ve gone to a place and you don’t even know what’s happened.
Oh God, just let me die every night.
That would be terrific!
Because resurrection in the morning is nothing short of a miracle, one of the greatest wonders in the universe!
Easily, effortlessly, 8 hours pass, that feels like 9 minutes.
Next night, you can say to yourself – yup! I’m ready for my 9 minutes sleep. Imagine being able to do that every night. Bring it on!
The 9 minute sleep is a wondrous type of sleep. Imagine the feeling of luxuriating in the feeling of being in bed – waking up to a morning that bestows such glorious stretch of a day that is filled with calm, fun, and productivity.
The miracle of a 9 minute sleep takes A LOT of preparation. For this sleeper, it starts from 2 hours before sleepy time, during which time there is no media, no eating, no work. Then one takes a long hot shower or bath, followed by massage. Finally, the sleeper retreats into the bedroom when there is sufficient time for sleep. Having enough time to fall asleep is so important, because knowing that you have to fall sleep immediately is the single biggest deterrent to falling asleep effortlessly and quickly. Getting some physical exercise during the day helps a lot too. Eating lightly throughout the day ensures normal bowel movement every day that happen at the same time every day if the sleep schedule is predictable.
The human body LOVES periodicity. Perhaps this fact escapes the guys but us ladies know the miracle of menstruation which occurs like magic without cues, without effort, every 28 days.
It is an amazing fact that there is a clock within us.
The door closes, the temperature settles, and time repeats itself. And every night there is calm and lull in the air that distill down to the gravity where it pulls your body deep into the bed. There is that wholesome periodicity of falling asleep, sleeping and waking. If a pattern is established, one wakes up at the same time every day without the use of an alarm.
In other words, it feels like 9 minutes later, one awakes.
9 minutes – it doesn’t feel like a waste of time anymore. It feels soooo healthy.
I also love the app iSleep that helps me and perhaps you fall asleep.