Dear Departed, only you know what’s in my heart towards your loved ones who are still on this planet, and only you know how I feel without pretense.

Dear Departed, only I know that you have watched over me all my life. You are my Guardian Angels.  You have been w me everyday.

Dear Departed, there is more of you on the other side now.

Yesterday I saw a corpse. In a way I wish I had not seen him. l In a way I am glad that I did see him. The person had died while I was walking close by. His daughter sobbed and sobbed. The doctors and nurses updated us on the logistics in midst of what felt like a chaotic situation but in fact the logistics did not matter when the heart was crying and wailing.

I held her like how her dad would have wanted to hold her. I would not let her go. Strong embrace, locking embrace, not letting go, I held her.

I held her like how I had been held recently. There is no shame. No embarrassment. No stopping.  Strong, gripping, not letting go.

I put my hand on her scalp. And I told her that she was loved by her dad so very much. I am sorry. I am so sorry. Your dad loved you very much. She cried in waves.

The body is only a shell, whereas the soul has departed. What is this life? What is the meaning of this life? It seems futile and I am angry.

Anger: for having being put through the illusion of life, what a joke, to come, to love, and then to be taken away. All this efforts, only to end with nothing.

Is this life really just a dream?

I was woken up all night thinking what is the meaning of life?

People in my age group are running for presidents, taking risks, leading countries, raising children, all trying to be strong and carrying on, in this prime of life – suddenly finding oneself the responsible adult only to have face the questions that have become more irresolvable.

God, I don’t know to do this but who doesn’t learn how to do it sooner or later?