This establishment needs an upgrade and have a shot at becoming a classier joint.  We’re specifically looking for a blogger columnist, someone from the Midwest, who can write in folksy English, preferably about animals, Canadian geese, possums, ground hogs, and such.

If interested please email and all transactions will be anonymous, and as a small token of appreciation I will send you a case of Coca Cola to your PO address by Christmas.

Please read a couple of Warren Buffett’s Annual Reports to the Birkshire Hathaway’s stockholders to get an idea of what type of writing we’re talking about (don’t bother the technical pages if that’s not your thing, just go straight to the last page of each report, the later ones especially, 1977-2008).  If you’d rather write about insurances or mulch that’s fine too.

What we’re looking for is style not substance.  it just has to look like a stunner, sound like a winner, and it doesn’t matter if it works like crap, only some of the time, or not at all.  In other words, literary Jaguars are encouraged to apply–because for once affirmative actions will favor those who have been historically discriminated against because their stories don’t make sense.  And, since the internet already has million of blogs, some of which is inspiration, some of it excretion, and most of it constipation, we’re looking for folksy writers who can say things quickly.